Exit Darkness, Enter Light: Book One of the Earth Cycle Page 2

  As I walked up the driveway to my house I noticed a car with blacked-out windows parked across the road. I know now it was then that my normal life had begun to end. It was then when they first started watching and waiting patiently.

  Chapter 2

  “Always Nadia”

  When I was trapped in the pits of darkness

  indulging in every sin and shame

  your gentle soul called to me across the void

  inviting me to rise up to you through the spheres

  but my pride made me ignore your loving calls…

  In a lifetime you taught me hope

  When you took me by the hand

  With your love you lifted me out the pit

  past the shambles I'd made of my existence

  one step at a time

  You pulled me

  Into your glorious light…

  A year after the dog episode I had left home and gone to university. I took business economics and excelled in my degree. I found studying easy, like I had done it all before. I topped all my classes and won numerous awards. My parents were both pro-education, so my scholarly achievements were held in the highest esteem. So much so that my more artistically inclined younger sister Aiyana lived under an enormous shadow. The old lady had disappeared soon after the death of the dog. Life for my family had carried on as normal, but I had never been the same after the incident. Since that fateful day I had always felt like I was being monitored. Although seven years had passed I still thought about what had happened on a daily basis. I was wary of what lurked inside me.

  I had my first job in a prestigious consultancy firm. I rose quickly through the ranks, which caused no end of jealousy from less able colleagues who had joined the company at the same time as me. Over the years I had found myself feeling bouts of anger towards those I worked with. I was growing scared of the vengeful thoughts I harboured against them. In an effort to contain the situation, I had requested to work from home – it was either that or no work at all. I just couldn’t function amongst people whom I generally found to be weaker and less intelligent than me. My employers were happy to agree to the arrangement, and more likely overjoyed I would not be scaring off any potential clients or causing an atmosphere in the office via my frequent mood swings. The quality of my work, however, was unmatched and I kept the money rolling in, almost doubling the profits within my section of the business in little over a year. Frankly, I was too lucrative to lose. After a while, the novelty of rolling around in bed till 11 a.m. began to wear off. Days were always the same. I would get up and write yet another brilliant report on some consumer market, but none of it ever interested me. I was beginning to despise life. Restlessness grew in me, but I could not understand why. I was doing well I kept telling myself, I was highly educated, had a well-paid job and I was still only twenty-four years old. None of this seemed to mean anything.

  I was struggling to focus my mind on my day job. It was all so boring and mundane. I was stimulated by conspiracies, mysteries and alternative views of history. Due to a lack of supervision working from home, I had become increasingly addicted to the Internet, particularly websites that questioned the status quo. The latest one taking up my time and interest was about the Moon landings being a hoax. I had always intuitively felt reality was somehow deeper and more complex than we were led to believe. It was as if we were all being bombarded with diluted explanations and half-truths. I found stories of paranormal phenomena intriguing. My father put all my soul searching down to age – “your mid-twenties are about finding your place in the world,” he would often say in a patronising way.

  My key saving grace was my girlfriend Nadia. I had lived with her for roughly a year. She was tall, elegant and slim, with raven-black hair and hazel eyes. Her mother, like mine, was originally from the United States, while her father was of Russian heritage. I had first met Nadia at a shelter for abused animals, where she worked. I had been on a trip looking for a birthday gift for Aiyana. Nadia had been very helpful in my endeavour to find the right pet kitten. We had connected instantly. I ended up seducing her with my detached confidence and we had gone out on a date the same evening. Two months later Nadia had moved in. I had grown to respect her. She had strong principles and believed in something beyond the drive for material wealth. She was concerned with the state of the planet, not in a superficial way, but based on a genuine empathy for nature. Most importantly Nadia and I were on a similar wavelength, she always seemed to know what I was feeling and thinking.

  ***

  It was a typical Monday morning. Nadia walked over to my side of the bed and kissed me goodbye, before she set off for work. Unlike me, she loved her job. I waited for the sound of the front door to be sure she was gone. I rolled around in bed for a while in total glee, alone again, such bliss. I loved having the flat to myself. We were on the third floor of a newly built block. Wooden floors, large ceramic tiles in the bathroom, and stainless steel kitchen. Nadia had grown concerned about my obsession with the Internet, so I had to restrict my research during the weekends. Now she was gone I could surf to my heart’s content. I switched on the computer. The hours whittled away as I explored site after site reading about all types of arcane subjects. Wanting a break I turned on the television. An animated story from the Bible was on. I half watched the tale of Abraham and how God had asked him to sacrifice his son Isaac to prove his faith, which he nearly did until God’s last minute intervention. The idea of sacrifice suddenly became a vivid image in my mind. I felt a strong attraction to the notion deep inside. The act of sacrifice was a potent symbol of submission. The rest of the day dragged. I could not be bothered to write a work-related report. The initial euphoria of being alone had also worn off, I was sorely missing Nadia!

  “I got you some takeaway,” Nadia said as she entered the flat. She was finally home. I was back on the computer looking at a chat forum discussing life after death.

  “Thanks honey I missed you,” I said. Nadia’s face lit up at those words and she walked over to me like a glamorous model on a catwalk, tossing her bag on the sofa.

  “What are you looking at?” Nadia asked.

  “Just a chat forum,” I replied disconnecting the Internet. Nadia smiled with relief as she didn’t want to spend the night being ignored again.

  “Darling you know I want to go on vacation!” she said. Nadia was eager for us to go away on our first holiday together. She tapped the stack of holiday brochures she had left on the computer table the day before.

  “Have you decided where we should go? You know my preference is for two weeks in July, somewhere hot,” she asked hopefully. I had been promising for ages that we should go on holiday, but kept putting the conversation off.

  “Let’s go to Valletta,” I suddenly blurted out.

  “Valletta, where is that?” Nadia said. She was gobsmacked that I had actually made a suggestion, I’d usually just try to change the subject. I was just as perplexed as Nadia and not sure where the suggestion had come from myself, then I realised I didn’t even know where Valletta was either!

  “It is somewhere hot. I saw it on the Internet,” I replied happy to meet one of her criteria.

  “Yes let’s go! I am going to phone my mum and tell her the good news,” Nadia was brimming with excitement.

  I left her in the front room to share the news with her mum. I walked down the narrow hallway to our bedroom. I glanced at the bedside clock: 8:47 p.m. I lay on the bed. Another day coming to a close, I looked up at the ceiling. Thoughts started to drift around my mind. We are born and then we die. Do we choose this on some level? Or is it just some random thing? Is there a higher purpose to our lives? Did I choose this life? Or are we just biological organisms like science implies?

  “Snap out of it! I want to make love,” Nadia said as she walked into the bedroom.

  I glanced at the clock; it was 11 p.m., I had lost track of time. Nadia slowly undressed. I watched her in the dimly lit room, the bedroom light was off, but the hal
lway light was on. She was statuesque. She was completely naked now standing at the end of the bed. She pulled at my trousers and laughed at how aroused I was. I took my T-shirt off and threw it on the floor and pulled her towards me. I kissed her and turned her onto the bed. We started making love and the feelings of uncertainty faded. Nadia screamed as she climaxed I soon followed after her. I looked into her eyes as I lay atop her, hot and clammy. I was always captivated by her eyes; I would lose myself in them. It was like I was swimming with her soul. I felt peace.

  ***

  The next few weeks went quickly; Valletta was in Malta, a small island in the Mediterranean. We had looked it up, it was all booked. Two weeks in mid-July. Nadia was full of joy. I felt close to her, closer than I had ever done before. I had started to let my guard down. I was more concerned with making her happy than protecting my own feelings. I always kept a distance from people, I guess because I was scared of getting hurt. I had promised myself as a child I would never be made a fool of by anyone. My parents were foreign and in the neighbourhood we had grown up in we stood out, which led to attempts at bullying at school. As a result, I had learnt to be handy with my fists from an early age when defending myself. We were a very close-knit family and so my family’s opinions meant a lot to me. Both my parents adored Nadia, as did my usually cynical little sister. It was hard not to love her. Nadia had become the first ‘outsider’ to penetrate and dissolve my guard.

  “I love you Cyrus, see you later,” Nadia left me in bed with those sweet words. I was content. I daydreamed for a while. Eventually I got myself up and walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror. I admired my green eyes, dark hair and chiselled features. I took my T-shirt off and gained pleasure from scanning my muscular frame. My broad shoulders tapered into a slim toned waistline. I had always loved exercising and had held countless school records for athletic events. I enjoyed pushing my body to the extreme. I had never bothered competing seriously in any sport although many had told me I could be a world beater in anything I set my heart on. I had always mastered things quickly and then become uninterested. I leaned forward and stared even closer at myself. As I gazed deeper into my eyes I felt frightened. It was as if some trapped and unfathomable rage stared back at me. My pupils were dilated and terrifyingly black.

  Suddenly it was as though the ground beneath me became unstable. I saw sparks before my eyes and felt dizzy. I clasped the towel rail to steady myself. My head was ringing and I heard a buzzing sound in my ears. I staggered out of the bathroom into the hallway. My legs were heavy like I was carrying invisible weights. Just get to the bedroom I told myself. I kept staggering until I reached the bedroom and dropped myself down on the bed. I tried to ignore the dizziness and closed my eyes. No good. My breathing was heavy, like something was pushing down and compressing my chest.

  “Just relax,” I heard a voice saying from somewhere.

  I was fearful and panic-stricken, my body was vibrating. Then the bed started shaking. I couldn’t move my body. I was paralysed. What was wrong with me? Everything in the room was shimmering and bathed in golden light, but I couldn’t move my head to focus on where the light was coming from. My body remained paralysed. I sensed a presence in the room with me, but couldn’t move my head to discover what it was. My heart was beating ferociously reflecting my terror.

  “RELAX – let go,” the voice said again.

  I couldn’t; the fear was all encompassing. What was happening to me? Was I unwell? Then I felt a jolt. I could look around the room now. Everything was bathed in bright light. The room was still shimmering like gold melting. I was floating above my body now and felt free, but when I realised I could see my body on the bed beneath me, still and unmoving, I panicked. A sudden downward pressure overtook as something sucked me back into my body. I was on the bed again. I could move and was no longer paralysed. I sat up. The room was normally lit, no more strange shimmering light. I was exhausted.

  What the hell had happened? I felt unnerved. Should I tell Nadia?

  Nadia arrived home later than usual, waiting for her was torture. I felt desperately lonely. What was going on with me? I sat at the computer table. I had been totally silent since she had returned.

  “What is the matter sweetheart?” Nadia broke the silence.

  “I’m just thinking,” I replied. I didn’t know how to begin to tell her about what had happened.

  “What are you thinking about?” Nadia asked.

  She was probing. She knew I was keeping something from her – she knew me well. I turned and faced her. I had been looking at a website about out of body experiences. How could I tell her what had happened without facing ridicule? The site I was looking at was only marginally helpful. It explained out of body experiences as a form of travel. This particular site suggested we all had an energy body, as well as a dense physical body. During sleep the energy body would leave and travel in some astral realm. This was meant to explain the surreal nature of our dreams, as the astral realm was more subtle than the day-to-day physical world we all know so well. Normally I would have dismissed this as far-fetched and fanciful, but many things mentioned on the website rang true. It was apparently normal to feel incredible fear when leaving your body for the first time.

  “I had a strange experience earlier today while you were at work,” I said hesitantly.

  “What type of experience?” Nadia asked in a sympathetic tone. She seemed to sense my apprehension.

  “I was in the bathroom and then suddenly I felt dizzy. I got myself to the bed to lie down. When I lay down my body became paralysed. It was really frightening. I experienced a jolt and left my body. I floated to the ceiling and could see my body unmoving below me on the bed. Everything else in the room was shimmering,” I said carefully. I was trying not to exaggerate or leave anything out.

  Nadia looked unfazed and said, “I have had similar things happen to me when I was a child. It is called an out of body experience.”

  I was surprised. I tried to mask my irritation. “Why have you never mentioned it before?” I asked.

  “I don’t like discussing it,” Nadia continued, “it was always a sensitive issue for me when I was growing up. My parents sent me to see all sorts of people; doctors, psychiatrists etc. I wasn’t going to bring up all the memories again. Besides it hasn’t happened to me since I met you.”

  So many questions were racing through my head. Nadia had always seemed so practical. It was weird knowing she had experienced this before. I wondered how deep her knowledge was.

  “What do you think it is?” I quizzed.

  “I’m not certain. I think some people just have the ability to leave their body, with practice I could float about my room and even leave the house. God it sounds stupid. I was tested for various things. They thought it could be diet related, too many chemicals, and all sorts of other explanations. I read about it, some new age religions just seem to think it is a shift to a deeper realm.”

  I found myself looking at Nadia with different eyes; a whole new layer of her had just been opened up to me. She was even more beautiful to me now, more so than before. I just stared at her and as I did I sensed she was surrounded by a halo of light. Then it dawned on me; since I had been living with Nadia, my nightmares had stopped.

  “It’s the dreams that worry me,” Nadia said.

  “What?” I was abruptly brought back to reality. Did she know about my dreams?

  “I have been having more of them since I met you. It is always the same: I am in the middle of what seems to be a city, but not the type we have here on earth. Everything about the city is alien. The scale is immense. I am surrounded by unbelievably tall shiny buildings. There are huge domed structures all around as well. The sky is filled with fire and smoke. It causes the domed buildings to melt because of the extreme heat. People all around me are running and screaming – yet they are not human. They are always running away from me in all directions, so I can never see their faces. Then they all evaporate and everything becomes
quiet. I am left standing alone in the midst of all the destruction. I see large space ships hovering overhead and I can hear the beating of massive wings. Dragons swoop down from the heavens. Some are breathing fire. I just stand watching them. Many fly above my head, their huge wings beating, while others land around the destroyed and desolate city. I still stand watching. I never feel any fear, but I always know I am about to die. I look up and see a huge dragon gliding down to where I stand. It lands right in front of me and, as it beats its wings, I feel hot oppressive air blow across my face. The last thing I see is its huge mouth open and fire rushing towards me. I always wake up at that point,” Nadia finished her story looking at me with vulnerability evident in her soft hazel eyes.

  I didn’t know what to say, the dream made me shiver. I felt a strong melancholy.

  “Nothing to say?” Nadia inquired.

  “Just that I love you even if you are weird,” I said in a teasing voice. We both laughed.

  “Let’s mate,” I suggested, Nadia grinned mischievously. I walked over to her and took her by the hand and led her into the bedroom. We made love. It was intense as always and truly magical. Nadia made every cell in my body ignite. After our exertions we just lay in bed and talked about random things. What we needed to buy before we went on holiday and that we would need to leave a spare set of keys with my family in case we lost our one abroad. Nadia always thought about the little things. I lay in our bed so happy and at peace. My thoughts drifted back and forth. What Nadia had told me had taken me by surprise, yet it didn’t seem so strange now. I had always felt there was something profound about her, beyond anything I could explain in words. I had dated my fair share of women, even for my young age, but none had ever compared to Nadia. The first time I had met her it had felt like it was meant to be, it was natural. We both slept peacefully that night. With Nadia by my side I felt like nothing mattered. I could accomplish anything.